


How Hard Can It Be?

by therealfroggy



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, First Time, Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 19:56:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19069585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealfroggy/pseuds/therealfroggy
Summary: Tony and Steve's first time is an absolute disaster, because nobody knows what they're doing. Like, at all. So, basically, super awkward sex.This fic takes place in that magical, feel-good, no-mans-land right after the first Avengers movie, when everyone is still alive and they're all friends and Stark Tower is a huge frat house. I will never leave that place.





	How Hard Can It Be?

If Tony Stark has a quantifiable sexual orientation, it could probably best be summarized as “voraciously heterosexual”. His exploits are legendary. He's fucked so many women he's lost count, especially because that whole two-at-a-time thing makes numbers a little hard. He's fucked every type of woman, in every conceivable position, and in every type of environment imaginable. He's tried toys, BDSM (not his cup of tea; he likes a little spanking but the degradation and pain is just a no-go), threesomes, orgies, quick and dirty, in front of people... Yeah. There's not much Tony Stark hasn't tried at least once.

Steve Rogers, on the other hand, has kissed two women before he went into the ice, and, well, exactly no women that counted since he came out. That is to say, he's not kissed anyone that he really wanted to kiss since Peggy. And, needless to say, he has slept with exactly zero women. But he was in the army, and he was friends with Bucky before the war. He's heard things. He knows things. Surely, some of the things he knows must be worth something. Even if his sexual orientation runs more along the lines of “hopeless romantic”.

Needless to say, when the two of them finally figure things out and realise they're in love with each other, there are certain expectations of how things are going to go.

Steve has been trying to get over his feelings because he knows Tony doesn't normally do relationships, and Tony has been very confused because he's never gotten hard over seeing a man naked before. But in the end, Tony being hard and gaping at Steve is just the push that the captain needs, and he kisses the shorter man for the first time. Then Tony gets this “Oh! Oh, I get it now!” expression on his face, and kisses him back.

Steve smiles into the kiss and feels himself blush. This is great. Especially since, while he might not know what he's doing, Tony is an expert and so Steve should be able to just kick back and let himself be handled.

“You wanna come back to my place? Uh, my room?” Tony asks, grinning up at Captain America. “I mean, since the elevator is right over there. And we're kinda in my house. Building. Whatever.”

“Yeah,” Steve says with an answering grin. “Yeah, I'd like that.”

They get in the elevator, and Steve kisses Tony again, and the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist puts his hands right on Steve's American ass and gropes. Things develop quickly from there, and by the time they stumble out on Tony's private floor, Steve is trying to get Tony's shirt off and Tony is trying to untie his shoes.

“You wanna get naked?” Tony asks cheerfully, hopping around on one leg to get his shoe off.

Steve does, and they do. Steve is naked, Tony is naked, and Steve is kissing the other man. They're both on the bed, they're both lying down, and then they're suddenly both lying on their backs next to each other on the duvet.

“Uh, you wanna...?” Steve begins, just as Tony says, “Would you...?”

They stare at each other. Then they kiss again, and then Steve, being the stronger one, rolls them so that Tony is on top.

“Uh, yeah, Steve, I don't think I'm up for the reverse cowgirl my first time,” Tony says, grinning into Steve's mouth. “Easier if you just get on top.”

“I don't know what any of that means,” Steve admits, and kisses Tony again.

“You know. You, on top? You're going to have to take point on this, Captain,” Tony grins.

Steve stops. Stops and stares at Tony, who hesitates in the face of Steve's obvious stare.

“What do you mean, me on top?” he asks, looking up with a frown.

“Uh, y'know, your dick. In my ass. You on top?” Tony says, and weirdly looks uncomfortable saying it. “I've never done this before.”

“But _I've_ never done this before!” Steve says, then sits up. “Wait, Tony, what do you mean you've never done this before? You're... you're a playboy!”

Tony backs up a little, but he's still straddling Steve, and this is so confusing. “Well, yeah, with girls. Women. Steve, I've fucked hundreds of women but I've never actually hooked up with a man!”

Steve is staring open-mouthed now. “But you said you've tried pretty much everything!”

“With girls,” Tony defends himself. “Yeah, I've done everything there is to do _with girls_. What about you, you were in the army! Gay sex should be in your basic training!”

Steve scowls. “Being gay in the army wasn't even allowed, Tony, goodness. Well... well, what are we going to do?”

An awkward silence falls over the bedroom. They're both still naked, and this is so incredibly awkward. Tony fidgets a little. Steve clears his throat and stares at Tony's chest, where the arc reactor glows cheerfully.

“Wait, wait, hold on. You like me, right?” Tony says, seeming to shake himself.

“Yes,” Steve says, blushing a little, still avoiding Tony's eyes. “Yeah, I do.”

“And I like you, and we want to have sex and stuff. With each other,” Tony clarifies.

“That sounds good,” Steve agrees cautiously.

“Well, how hard can it be?” Tony asks rhetorically, and reaches for the nightstand. “Maybe we should just start having sex and see what happens?”

Steve has to admit that might be their only way out. “Unless JARVIS could -”

“No, Rogers, Jesus,” Tony gasps, offended. “I am not asking my AI to research gay sex for me, have some respect for the poor thing's nerves!”

“Well, maybe just a movie? Or, uh, a dirty picture or something?” Steve asks, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. “I mean, just for a basic idea of what goes where.”

Tony stares at him. Then he grabs Steve's dick and tugs on it a little, and Steve heaves for breath. “This, Rogers. This goes in my ass. I think. I mean, I've done anal before, only it was with a woman. The rules have to be the same, right? I mean, that part of our anatomy is pretty much the same.”

Steve, not convinced, grabs Tony right back and strokes his dick a little. Tony bites his lip. “Well, why doesn't _this_ go in _my_ ass?”

“Uh... I don't know,” Tony admits, not releasing Steve's dick. “I don't know how they... we... decide which one goes where.”

“Well... this is nice, too,” Steve says, smiling hesitantly up at Tony as he begins a slow, steady rhythm. “Just this.”

“Yeah,” Tony breathes, and he matches Steve's movements. “Yeah, this is nice. We could start with this.”

They do start with that. And it turns out it's pretty easy to make them both come at the same time when they're face to face like that, both of them hands-on, so to speak. Then they shuffle into Tony's ensuite bathroom, both of them a little shy and slightly embarrassed, and clean off, and then back to the bed.

“You wanna... maybe take a nap? Then we can, you know, when we wake up. Try again?” Tony suggests, and averts his eyes.

Steve grins in relief, and dares another kiss. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

They nap.

***

When Steve wakes up, he wakes up to Tony slowly humping his leg.

“I'm sorry,” the shorter man says. “I kinda can't stop myself. I really, really want some fucking to happen at some point in future.”

Steve grins and puts his arms around Tony. He'd clearly like that, too, from the way he palms Tony's ass and grinds against the engineer. They roll around a bit, trying to find a comfortable position, and then one of them bites a shoulder, and they both get a lot more eager.

“Night-stand drawer,” Tony mumbles into Steve's awesome pectorals, which he's kissing. “Condoms and lube.”

Steve gets those out, and then Tony moves down to take Steve's dick into his mouth, and suddenly Steve yelps and pulls that messy, brown-haired head off him.

“Teeth!”

Tony blushes. “Oh God, I'm sorry. Maybe this isn't the time to try my first ever blowjob.”

“No, really, I want you to, just, uh, no teeth? It kinda hurts,” Steve says, and wow, the man is crimson all over with how hard he's blushing.

Tony tries again, careful to cover his teeth, and this time Steve starts moaning, so something must be going right. Tony remembers some of his own favourite blow jobs, and tries to do that thing that Tina used to do, cupping his balls and maybe rolling them a little.

Steve comes in his mouth, no warning or nothing. Just a huge spurt of viscous, bitter slime down Tony's throat. The engineer sputters, Steve moans, and things get messy for a little while. Tony runs to the bathroom to spit and rinse, and Steve desperately tries to get himself back under control.

“Jesus. Tony, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was gonna – so fast. I mean, I've never done this before, and I -” Steve stutters the moment Tony is back.

“Hey, it happens,” Tony reassures him, a little hoarsely. “But, uh. I guess it's gonna have to be my dick in your ass, now. I mean, since you're... out for the count.”

Steve's blush intensifies. “Well, sure, if you want. But, uh, the serum? I'm gonna be good to go again in... I guess, ten minutes.”

Tony stares. “Wow. Wow, Rogers, just wow. You're pretty spry for a ninety-year old, you know that?”

Steve smiles bashfully. “But I'd still really like you to... to be on top, if that's okay.”

Tony gets back on the bed so fast he just about gives himself whiplash. Steve is struggling with a condom packet and Tony is shaking the lube bottle to get it ready, and then finally, the condom is out and in Steve's massive hands.

“Roll it on me,” Tony says, trying for seductive. They can finally do this!

Steve struggles a little, turning the condom over, then grabs it and – puts his finger right through the thin rubber. It breaks. Steve gapes at Tony. “How did that happen?”

Tony tries not to laugh. “Super soldier strength? Don't worry about it, Cap, I've got more. Here, let me.”

Tony is rubbered up and Steve is on his hands and knees – Tony wanted him to be on his back but Steve insists this will be easier. He'd had a medical exam just like this once, he explains. Tony isn't quite level with Steve where it really counts, though, so he grabs a pillow to kneel on. Then he gets the lube open.

And that shit just runs all over the place. Wow, is it supposed to be this runny?

“Tony, what's that on my leg?” Steve asks, sounding a little worried.

“Uh, sorry about that. It's lube. You know, slick? For... you know. But it's a little... messy” Tony explains. Did he have this much trouble with Gigi? Or Nancy?

The lube runs in little streaks down Steve's thighs, but finally, Tony is slick and ready to go, and he grabs his dick to hold it steady, and he pushes. Nothing happens, so he pushes again. His dick doesn't go anywhere. With a frown, Tony puts his back into it and shoves, but his dick only slips and skids between the perfect, American globes of Steve's ass until he's poking Steve in the balls with it.

“Well, this is awkward,” Tony says, and is that a blush he can feel? Wow, he hasn't blushed during sex since his late teens!

“What? Tony, what's wrong?” Steve asks, and he lifts his head and cranes back to look at Tony.

“I can't... get it in. Here, let me try with my fingers,” Tony suggests, and presses two fingers against Steve's entrance.

Nothing doing.

“Steve? I think your super soldier ass is refusing to be penetrated by lowly engineers,” Tony says, and sits back. “I think even those muscles are super serum strong.”

Steve barks out a sudden laugh, then gets himself back under control and turns around. His face is red and he's obviously trying not to laugh. “I don't think my... my ass is sentient, Tony.”

“Well, it's not pliable either, so this is clearly not happening,” Tony sighs in frustration. “Jeez, and all I wanted today was a little sex.”

“Well... Maybe we can try it the other way around,” Steve says, hesitant. “I mean... if you'd like to.”

“If I'd like to? Steve, I've been getting hard over you in the showers for months. I've been fantasizing about this for weeks. Yes, I want to!” Tony exclaims.

So it's off with Tony's unused condom, Steve gets a towel and starts mopping up all the spilled lube, and Tony starts building a little pillow barrier across the bed.

“I think I'd better be lying down for this,” he explains, and positions himself so that his hips are on the pillows, tilted up, and his ass is at the perfect angle for whatever Steve might want to do with it.

Steve clears his throat. “Uh, Tony? Could you help with... the stuff?”

He's still struggling with condoms.

So Tony gets back up, and together, they figure out how to get the condom rolled down over Steve's super soldier dick, and then Tony applies lube a little less liberally than he did to himself. Steve, on an afterthought, puts some lube in his hand and nods back at the pillows. “For you, too, I think.”

Tony is back on his front over the pillows, Steve is shuffling in behind his spread legs, and then Steve starts rubbing lube into Tony's ass, and wow, that feels really nice. Tony sighs and tilts his ass even further up so Steve can have full access.

“That's good,” he murmurs, feeling Steve's fingers rubbing slowly over his ass. “Really good.”

Then, finally, Steve moves in and begins pushing. And where Steve's super soldier American ass absolutely refused to be defiled by Tony, Tony's ass doesn't have much of a fight to put up against Steve's super soldier American dick.

“Oh, uh, ow, I guess?” Tony breathes, shuffling a little on the sheets. It's uncomfortable. A little painful. But nothing like the stuff they experience in battle, so he doesn't say anything to Steve.

“Tony,” Steve gasps, “oh, Tony!”

And the awe and pure want in that voice makes Tony bite the pillow and not say anything, because he wants Steve to have this. To really, really love his first time, despite all the mess they've made of it so far.

And with a shove, Steve is all the way inside him and Tony can't help but whimper a little. Wow, that's a lot of cock. A huge, pulsating, thrumming amount of cock that is making it impossible for Tony to even think, let alone speak. So he whimpers into the pillow.

“Tony, wow, you feel amazing,” Steve sighs, and runs a hand down Tony's back. Tony relaxes a little, and the burn fades. “Oh God, Tony, I never – never thought...”

“Give me a minute,” Tony finally manages, breathing deeply through his nose. “I need... a minute.”

“Tony, are you okay?” Steve asks then, sudden concern in his voice.

“Nnngh,” Tony grunts. “A minute.”

Steve holds impossibly still, the only movement he makes little tremors that Tony can feel in the steely abdomen pressed against his ass and back.

Tony breathes. Steve waits. And, after a minute, Tony exhales and notices that it doesn't hurt any more.

“Okay,” he sighs, shuffling a little. “But go slow.”

Steve goes slow, and it's starting to feel good, and Tony starts grinding his own cock into the pillows. Then Steve lets out a strangled groan and stops.

“What?” Tony asks, voice hoarse.

“I... I was gonna... I want to last longer,” Steve mutters, and trembles again.

“Steve, it's our first time,” Tony huffs, and wiggles a little. “It was never going to be perfect, but it's already pretty good, if you ask me. Just, just give me a hand after or something.”

“No, this should be more than just pretty good,” Steve gasps, and slowly pulls out of Tony. “I think you need to be on your back.”

So they shuffle and shift until Tony is on his back, only he manages to put a knee in Steve's ribs on the way, and Captain America laughs helplessly into Iron Man's neck by the time they're face to face again.

“We're terrible at this,” he chuckles.

“Speak for yourself, I think I'm doing pretty good with not dying from being impaled on your Kraken cock,” Tony huffs, then hesitates. “Should I... Should I spread my legs, maybe?”

“Definitely,” Steve agrees, then grabs a pillow. “And lift your hips.”

It takes a little more shuffling, but finally, Steve is back between Tony's legs, Tony is crunching as hard as he can to tilt his hips up for Steve, and then Steve pushes back inside him. Steve keeps his weight off Tony, leaning on one hand so he can use the other to grab Tony's dick and pull. It's a little dry but Tony moans with pleasure anyway.

“Spit,” he suggests. “Spit in your hand.”

Steve does.

“Your other hand, Steve, Jesus, why would you need to rub extra spit into my sheets?”

Steve blushes so hard it looks painful, then hangs his head. “Terrible. Really, really terrible at this.”

“No, no, Steve, it's fine, just,” Tony rambles, because this is starting to actually feel good now and they should both get to finish sometime this century. “Just, see, this one. Then touch me.”

And finally, Steve strokes Tony with a spit-slick hand, and the shorter man groans in pleasure and bucks up. Steve keeps up his steady, slow thrusts and bites his lip hard to stop from coming too soon. And Tony, finally, _finally_ gets to come, spilling over Steve's hand and clenching up around Steve's dick.

Which makes even Steve's poor, bitten lip fail as a safety measure, and the super soldier comes, too, making this shocked, breathy noise as he bucks erratically into Tony.

“Wow,” he sighs, nuzzling into the other man's neck. “That was...”

“Really awkward, and kind of funny in the wrong way,” Tony sighs, reaching up to hug Steve firmly to him. “And you're really, really heavy. It was great.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks hopefully, lifting his head to finally look Tony in the eye. “Would you, uh, maybe like to do it again some time?”

“Sure I would, like, twice a day if we can get me some Viagra,” Tony grins. “I mean, not a super soldier here, Steve, and not gonna lie: that refractory period is just ridiculous.”

Steve grins back. “Yeah, well, you seemed to like it well enough.”

“Oh, I do,” Tony confirms. “But, uh, I think I might need an ice pack. For my ass.”

Steve backs up a little, frowning. “Did I hurt you?”

“Hurt me?” Tony snorts. “Steve, your ridiculously huge American super soldier dick -”

“Please stop calling me that,” Steve mutters, blushing again. “Call me Steve, Tony.”

“Fine, Steve-Tony, but your erection is weirdly big and apparently able to recur like, four times an hour. If it's going to feel like that every time, I might need local anaesthetics. Just saying.”

“Tony!” Steve gasps, suddenly looking horrified. “I hurt you!”

“No, not really,” Tony tries to reassure him, then hisses as Steve suddenly pulls out. “Ow, okay, now you hurt me!”

“Tony, we can't do this if it hurts,” Steve says, looking almost tearful. “We can do other things! Like earlier, we don't need to do this!”

“But I want to do this,” Tony says firmly. “I mean, I think I'm going to go to a sex shop and ask for advice on toys and preparation and stuff. Because obviously, if it's awkward and uncomfortable every time then we're doing something wrong, right? The first time is one thing. Next time, I want to be able to do the whole reverse cowgirl thing without doing something awkward.”

Steve frowns a little. “I still don't know what that means.”

“I'll show you some dirty movies,” Tony chuckles, then goes to sit up.

And something _pops_ in his hip and everything hurts.

“Ow! Motherfucker!”

“Tony! Tony, what's wrong?” Steve demands, suddenly hovering over Tony on the bed. “Tell me!”

“My hip,” Tony groans, and then starts laughing, because what the fuck? “I think... I think I pulled a muscle or a joint or something. I'm too old to keep up with you, apparently.”

Steve helps him get dressed, and they hobble down to the kitchen, Tony insisting he'll walk it off and Steve insisting they call a doctor. It turns out Tony is right, and after a while, his hip is just fine. But he still insists they stretch before getting into bedroom gymnastics next time.

“And here I thought we were being pretty, well, pretty normal for people having sex,” Steve says, grinning into his glass of milk.

“We were, but you're ninety and I'm about halfway there,” Tony says with a sleazy grin. “I mean, it's a miracle your heart didn't give out. Especially when the condom -”

Steve shuts him up with a kiss, and they start making out against the fridge, but then Steve pops wood again, and Tony admits he's too tired for a round two.

“Come on, I'll give you a hand,” the engineer says magnanimously. “How hard can it be? Not like I can sprain my wrist and my hip in one day, right?”

Actually, it turns out he can. Tony groans. This is going to be so awkward!


End file.
